Fantasy Wars

"The end is near, " whispered one of the warriors next to me.
I looked at him with confident eyes, " The hell it is. The world will end when I say it ends."
The warrior nodded and fell back in line.
I patted my unicorn and trotted forward in front of the soldiers. "Tonight, we become men."
A she flew in my direction followed by a cry. "Heeey!" cried a group of women.
"Oh! And women. Excuse me. Anywaaaaays, we will rise up and conquer our enemy, the zombie alien vampire werewolf lake monsters and take back what is ours!"
I threw my fist up thrusting my lightsaber into the air.
Everyone cheered except for a single man who coughed, "What are we taking back again?"
I facepalmed. "Our country. Our world. Zombie alien vampire werewolf lake monsters are invading from outer space to harvest our planet, remember?"
"Oh yeah," the man whimpered.
The enemies were lining up prepared for battle.
"Holy squad... you ready?"
A group of priests held up their super soakers with gold inscribed crosses. "God Bless!"
"Rangers?"
Men in ten gallon hats on horses cocked their silver bullet filled pistols.
"We're ready sir," a southern drawl rang out.
"And where's my snipers?"
A man with one tooth stood in front of his overalled plaid gang and asks, "Y'all ready?"
The rednecks replied, "Yee-haw!"
"Ok, and everyone else?"
A loud roar came through the valley.
"All right then. Let's chaaaaaaarge."
I kicked Sugarplum on her hips and whispered in her ear, "Let's go girl."
The unicorn expelled rainbows from her behind and launched into flight. The battle had begun and the warriors clashed.