Close Encounters

The sky filled with clouds and the rain began to trickle. Light splatters hit my face. I loved the rain, it brought every feeling in my body to life, just one more thing to make this the perfect day. I skipped home with a giddy grin singing I'm Walking on Sunshine. The neighbors glared their glum eyes at me, but they were just jealous. I skipped past the neighborhood and into an alley. A little shortcut I take to get to the park.
Down the alley, a beam of light struck the ground. I stopped and automatically dodged behind a dumpster. The FBI! It must be. I knew they'd figure out what I've been up to. They'll never catch me! I giggled at the FBI's Inferior thoughts of capture.
Within the beam of light, a figure began to form. Kind of like when your TV is fuzzy and the picture only has a shape. But now it was becoming clearer. This man had four oval eyes that squinted among his diamond shaped head. His slit of a nostril flared and his mouth was hidden by a mustache. This wasn't the FBI, even their wardrobe wasn't this ridiculous. His full mustache twitched and his head turned in my direction. He had a mustache that most barbers back in the day had. His orange skin seemed to melt from his body yet still stay in tact. His snake like motions made him look extremely flexbile. I bet this guy could burn it up on the dance floor.
He pulled out a strange device and it began to beep. his squinty eyes opened a bit and he walked towards my direction.
I jumped out and cried "Rawr! I am the FBI and I'm going to dissect your brains!"
"Rabrablubrawobloru!" is all he could make out and fell back in a state of shock.
I put my hand out to help him up. "I was only kidding!" I laughed at him.
His angered expression only made me laugh more. "So let me guess... you're an alien. From what planet? How long did it take to get here? Are you alone? Where's your ship? Can you speak English? Do you have alien pets? What's that? Oooh! Are you here to kill or befriend us? Is that mustache real? Doe it..." He stopped me with a gargled "Robaroogublamoragus"
"What?" I asked.
He pushed a button on his device and looked at me. "I said SHUT UP YOU PITIFUL HUMAN!"
"Well tha'ts not very nice." His eyes met mine.
"Garlex. 8 Kelenasits. No. Up there. I can now. yes. Humanoid Relation remote. It all depends and in a way."
"What?"
"The answers to your questions."
"Oh! That mustache is 'in a way real'?
The alien looked annoyed. "It's a grown mustache. I used hair growth hormones and noticed that this is a style you humans wear."
I laughed, "Maybe if you cut hair. And we don't have four squinty eyes and a diamond shaped face or little tentacle thingies."
"Point taken," the alien agree. "but I wasn't planning to stay long."
"Oh why is that?" I asked.
The alien picked me up and took me to his ship.
"I now have my answer for the 'Are you here to kill or befriend us'" he told me.
I giggled. "yay friends! you can be like my big brother. BFFs! Best friend forever. That's in case you don't understand internet. We can make cookies, draw pictures, have tea parties, go camping"
He looked at me and shook his head. "No. the other one."
"Oooooh." I said.
So now I'm sitting in this space ship and they're harvesting all the humans and locking them up in here with me. Yay friends!