Am I really that bad?

Oh my, I forgot to blog today. I was trying to make this a daily thing so I can discard all my journals. How did my day start today? Well, I woke up around noon to the phone ringing. I jumped out of bed to go get it.
"Hello?"
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"Hello?"
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No answer

So I hang up. Then I realized how exhausted I was. I went to bed at 11 and woke up at Noon and was completely exhausted and I couldn't figure out why. I'm assuming it had to do with the track meet yesterday. Erm... 2 days ago. Okay... I count time by when I go to bed... and since I have not gone to bed yet... it is still technically the 25th. Anyhow... so I got online and checked all the forums and chatted them up on there, put in Bolt, which I had rented, and cried my eyes out. Seriously? Why are Disney cartoons so sad? I don't know, I've been becoming more of a wuss lately. Then on myyearbook, some random girl called me ugly for no reason. I've never talked to this girl in my life before. There's no reason for her to call me ugly. So I explained this to her then told her to get out before I eat her brains. She hasn't replied yet.

Dad came home, and as usual, he just comes home and starts yelling at me about this and that and I asked him "Why do you always come home and just yell at me?" and he said, "Because, if I don't yell at you, you won't receive any discipline, and then you'll just go crazy and think you can do whatever you want!" And I just looked at him. There are 4 or more girls in my school that are pregnant right now. 89% of my school uses some sort of drug daily. 50% of my school has gotten a MIP. 20% have gotten a DUI. 99% go out and party and drink. I however, go to school, go to track, go to work, come home, get on the computer, and then go to sleep. I NEVER do any of that stuff and he's saying I need discipline. I got all the discipline I needed when I was little to know not to act like any of these jackasses. So if I'm sitting on the computer, dishes are done, kitchen is swept, floor mopped, house vacuumed, minding my own business, does he have the right to come in and yell at me about nothing?

I realize other kids have it harder than I do out there, and I'm not saying my dad's an ass or that it's terrible living with him, but he just makes me feel so damn guilty all the time. Like I did something wrong and I don't know how to fix it. He also blames me for things I have absolutely no control over. My track meet last week, it began to hail. Apparently, it was my fault that we had a track meet in the hail. Then I went to go run my 200m dash and Dad went and sat in the car cause it was hailing... afterward he yelled at me cause he missed the race. Was it my responsibility to make sure he was watching my race when about 10 minutes earlier I saw him in the stands watching the races? Then he told me he was watching the finish line from the car and he didn't see any girls pass the finish line. So I must have not raced. Um.... hello.... I did race. I got first. All these other people saw it too. Do you really think I convinced ALL of these people that I just raced and got first place even though I really didn't? I just told them all to tell you I did? I think my Father is going senile. I have no other conclusion.

I have to work tomorrow, but Angie said that she'd probably cover it for me. So hopefully that works out... cause it's 2am right now.

I went on Stickam for the first time today. Well that's a lie. I was on Stickam a while back... but only for a few minutes. I went on with Emma and Dani today... some of most fun I've ever had. Such randomness.

I need to do laundry pretty badly. I have like 2 full laundry baskets, but I've just been so busy and today was my first day truly off and I didn't want to waste it on laundry. So I guess I'll just hope for that day off tomorrow so I can do laundry and my homework.

So I guess I'll escape to my dreams now...
Hopefully I won't forget to blog tomorrow(today).